Sunday, 2 October 2011

Guilty Feeling

really, this few days I felt so unproductive in writing. Feels like I want to do nothing.

Yesterday I cried to my mom that I'm afraid about my thesis, I'm afraid that I can't do it well just like her, no revision at all. Sigh, that can be my motivation but also too heavy on my shoulder I think. I think that I'm not ready yet for this but if not now, when?? In case that almost all my friend has programed thesis in this semester.

My uncle said to me I must enjoying what I do, and my thesis is in the list of course. He said if I get revision it means that my lectures want in their deepest heart to make me better than before. It means that they guide me to make my thesis is perfect to read by other people.

What I'm afraid actually is I'm not really sure with my thesis object. I feel that my object is so weak. I can imagine that they would ask me to looking for another object and I don't know what should I take. I know it would be so easy if I know my object for sure.

In another case, I feel that I'm not better than my other friends in skill. But for that I'm hoping that I will get a job as soon as possible. But still, that ASAP would not happen yet if I not start my thesis.

Sigh. Just want to write this. I know the answer though. But still, it will be better if I can share it all before it explode.

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