Monday, 31 March 2014

Love Yourself. My Beginning to The Journey to find myself again.

It was a very long time I post nothing here. I was busy with my life. Followed some test to get a new job (and I get it!!!), and doing some things that makes me have no time to write something here. And my emotions was so...I don't know...full of drama. A lot of one-side-speculations, it seems I have a war with my own heart, with my own mind, with myself! And it was not a great moment. I become an unloveable girl, my emotion up and down easily. Everything seems so wrong for me. I tried to share with my friends and still didn't get the answer I really want. Something that calm me down. Then suddenly, one night, I tried to talk with myself. Do I love myself? Then I was busy to read some articles about "how to love yourself" and being so fanatic with "self-esteem" things. I motivate myself to up again, read some quotes, do a workout again, making some DIY. I feel busy for a while but still feel the "storm" inside my heart & mind. I cried when I pray, I listened to some up-beat songs, still trying to fix my heart up. I don't know why am I so emotional?

And one night, I remember I have a friend who has a different perspective about life. I tried to text him through BBM and what a surprise, he gave me some words that so different. He saw some things from a different point of view. Well, he never gave me a solution but what he said is always calming. Here's the answers from him and from my other friends with the same questions I asked to them :

1. Why am I so emotional these days? Seems like everything's so wrong to me.
    Common answer I got : "Ya...you're still like a child. Stop being childish, grow up!"
    His answer                  : "Enjoy that emotions. Emotions makes you as a human. Just counting from 1 to
                                          12 to calm you down"
2. Why I become a thinker? I always think it hard, about everything, untill the details. I'm tired of it.
    Common answer        : "that's not your bussiness, think about yourself."
    His answer                 : "that's good. It means that you have a pure heart. Just change it slowly to be a
                                         positive thoughts."
3. I'm so afraid when somebody make a distance to me. I always think that must be something wrong from
    me that make them decide to go away from me!
    Common answer        : "ask them, then introspection yourself"
    His answer                 : "go away from you doesn't always mean they hate you. it can be something
                                         dangerous for you, and they keep a distance from you because they don't want
                                         anything bad happen to you.
4. Many people says that I'm childish. And they want me to change.
    Common answer        : "yes you are! grow up!"
    His answer                 : "then they were childish too. sometimes the adults need more attention then the
                                         children"

Maybe some people will not agree with his thoughts. But that was, surprisingly, calm me down. I don't feel any anger & emotions that overflow anymore after that chat.

And from many "how to love yourself" articles I found on the web, one from tinybuddha.com is my favorite. Here's the points of them :

  1. Begin your day with love
  2. Take time to meditate & journal (I change meditate with shalat)
  3. Talk yourself happy
  4. Get emotionally honest
  5. Expand your interest (I made some diy canvas quotes & enjoyed it much!)
  6. Enjoy life enhancing activities (I started to running again every week, with some new up-beat songs)
  7. Become willing to surrender (it's a little bit hard, but I'm still trying. this one that my friend told me too)
  8. Work on personal & spiritual development
  9. Own your potential
  10. Be patient with yourself
  11. Live in appreciation (love your IMPERFECTLY perfect self)
  12. Be guided by your intuition (when your mind say "go" then you should go, don't stay)
  13. Do what honors & respects you (don't participate in activities that bring you down, don't allow toxic people in your life)
  14. Accept uncertainty. Put yourself on the PRESENT and be at peace. Don't stuck yourself to the past.
  15. Forgive yourself. For example : "I forgive myself for judging myself as an ugly girl. I'm beautiful inside out"
  16. Discover the power of fun.
  17. Be real. Speak up and speak out!
  18. Focus on the positive. Avoid any negative things or thoughts.
  19. Become aware of self neglect & rejections. You can do the best, you are the winner and you deserve to be a winner.
  20. Imagine what your life would look like if you believed in your worth. Free & happy!!
  21. And if necessary, seek a professional help. Sometimes people can't do it by themself when they feel they fall to deep. It's not a bad idea to seek a professional to help you out from those condition. Some school has their psychology teacher and they will help you happily.
See the full article here : tinybuddha.com

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