Too much sadness, too much tears, but that's the part of growing up. People teach you how to face the world. Just like me. When you're falling in love then you break up. Then you fighting with your ex, then you befriend with them again. You try to build back those relationship but they wont. Then you accept it and you enjoy it all. You shout out loud that you've move on but you're not. You realizing that you're still in the same place. Stuck. You still hoping that your ex would come back and say love you again. You sing the melody that you happy for them when they find a new relationship but in the deepest of your heart you crying.
This is really happened to me. I thought that I've move on. But I wake up and asking my self, what is move on exactly? What a fool, I don't know it. I thought that I forget and forgive him. But I'm still feel that heartbeat when he called me, when he texted me, when I met him. I screamed when I saw his picture with his new GF.
Just like Inception, I save the deepest memory about us. I thought that he forget it all. But I knew, he's not. It's proven by chat this morning between us :
Him : where are you now?
Me : at my boarding house. why?
Him : don't you go home?
Me : nope. I'm just went back home twice a week.
Him : that sounds great.
Me : great? I'm tired..
Him : oh, so you have tired too?
Me : that sounds sarcasm :S
Him : :)
That means a loooooot for me. Why? We broke up because he felt that I was too busy, seems like I didn't have tired. He felt that I couldn't make a time for him, just us two. I tried. But sometimes I really enjoy my rush. With that oh so you have tired too sentences means that he still remember my habit, my passion, the reason why we broke up. And that :) means that he hide something about us FOR YEARS! From this, I know that I didn't know him much. He looks like he don't care with anything. He looks like he don't wanna think about it. He looks like he forget it all. But he's not....